I feel like I’m going to wake up to coke-ed out midgets walking around the halls.
After realizing that the Bollywood movie we were...
”Woah. It’s like I was smoking pot, but then someone told me that it was actually cocaine. I’m on a whole different kind of high right now.”
I just like, jumped by accident. I though there was only one step left, but there was like five
Once I was talking to Charlie Chaplin, but not really, i was just reading something he said. Oh wait, God Bless, it was Groucho Marx…
On Kanye West
it’s like Mother Teresa…(raises hand)…Ghandi…(raises hand)..and then Kanye. I mean, I’m sure Ghandi was a nice guy but….
Wait do you guys ever get pissed off at Simba when he’s like “I just can’t wait to be king” and then Mufasa dies and you’re like “well!…”
I used to think that game was just people going like this (puts hands over head and bends backwards) and making bridges with their bodies but then I saw them playing it on I Love Lucy and I figured it out
Zane on Horses
You know you can’t shift your hips when you’re on a horse? The horse will be like “gotta gallop!” and you’ll be like “woah stop!” and he’ll be like “Nope! You shifted!”
“Cutter Lady’s not really a crowd pleaser…”
Ohay that was us...
overheardatsmith: Girl 1: Is that Frederick Douglass? Girl 2: No, it’s Marilyn Monroe…
Wait, do you guys like, remember the episode where the father was talking?
I was reading a mystery book, and the detective was solving the crime, but then...
That’s Capen?” Me- “Yep” (In awe) “It look looks...
Look at this Thug Life (pointing to the smallest bruise ever)
You can just put a tampon in there for like, days, and you might not die.
Maybe he just doesn’t know email etiquette. I feel like “dot dot...
What if we called you Egypt?
Mary was like ‘Oh Sarah, I didn’t see you! I was thinking...
I can’t stop laughing about Thomas Jefferson!
“He’s just a hot piece of pork in a suit, rotting away in the sun.”
You’re so cute and just a baby
I don’t turn the lights out cause when I close my eyes it’s, like, mad dark.
He’s a baby
You’re a goober
I keep thinking somethings happening with this chair. I mean, first I saw a...
It’s okay, I emotionally twirl around sometimes
I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, but I love costumes.